Apologies

I think it's going to be a safe assumption that when I don't post for several weeks, that I'm going through a rough patch. You should worry about me and call to see if I'm ok. Thanks for calling. You worthless motherfuckers.

I'm watching the Cavs/Bulls game right now. Reggie Miller has just forced himself to sound excited while going into commercial. I think LeBron James wears his headband so that he can get an automatic foul every time it falls off.

I don't like LeBron. He pounds his hands together and dusts everyone with powder before tip-off. Just like Garnett. That's so god-damned unoriginal and lame. I think that LeBron's commercials invoke the Arsenio/Whoopi/Magic Johnson school of comedy from the 90's. I wish he passed like Magic Johnson, instead of performing comedy like magic johnson.

Look at the intro to that show! My favorite part, other then when he sticks his melon in for the first time, is when he is fake drumming with Sheila E. I can't believe they invited Howard Stern as a guest. This was back when Howard Stern was funny, and he was killing Magic every single day. It got to the point where the ratings of "The Magic Hour" were so bad that they desperately needed a show that would get big ratings. Like taking the defibrillators to the heart. And Magic was so very bad. They producers were probably throwing up their hands and saying "what the hell, what do we have to lose. I can't believe we gave Magic this show. Fuck him. Book Stern." CLEAR!!

And Stern comes on, takes up a music slot, plays the keyboard, and has people farting on the air like it was a radio bit. He tells Magic that he should just talk in Ebonics, and gets him to admit he has a speech coach. Tells Sheila E. to dress sluttier, rip off her top, and calls her a Mulatto. These producers really hated Magic. In part 4 they bring out the second guest, with Howard Stern still sitting on the couch, and it's the Playboy Playmate of the year. That's who they expect Magic to interview with Howard sitting right there. And Magic actually tries to give a serious interview. It get's so bad, they give Sheila a 6 minute solo to end the show.



The landlord called to tell me that the Barak Obama sign in my lawn violates some sort of neighborhood policy, and that I have 30 days to take it down. Oh yeah? Really? You know what I did? I quietly removed it. I have officially given up all pretense of sticking it to the man.